


ache

by spikeymarshmallows



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Family Feels, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Klaus Hargreeves Gets A Hug, M/M, Sibling Incest, The Umbrella Academy (TV) Season 2 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:28:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25752115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spikeymarshmallows/pseuds/spikeymarshmallows
Summary: This was a hollow aching… somewhere. He wasn't quite sure where. If he'd been asked to point out where the (lack of) sensation was, he'd only have been able to gesture vaguely at his entire person.*Klaus Hargreeves gets the hug he needs after... everything
Relationships: Diego Hargreeves/Klaus Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves & Everyone
Comments: 27
Kudos: 326





	ache

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for S2, I guess! 
> 
> Honestly, I kinda dislike Klaus whump and the whole... IDK, I won't get into that rant lol. But I think this situation calls for some Klaus Hargreeves comfort. 
> 
> Tiny bit of Kliego feels.

Klaus had always craved the silence. He didn't go about finding silence in the right ways. He went to raves, to clubs, played the music too loud when he was with someone. He hoped that maybe, just maybe, if everything screamed loud enough it would drown everything out. It would cancel it out, and he'd be left with a glorious, blissful silence.

It was silent now.

He'd never hated it more.

Before he attempted to stand, he tried to summon him. He hadn't been sober, but he'd never had to be, not with—

Maybe Ben was elsewhere.

He did that sometimes.

But this felt different.

This was a hollow aching… somewhere. He wasn't quite sure where. If he'd been asked to point out where the (lack of) sensation was, he'd only have been able to gesture vaguely at his entire person.

There was a weird ringing in his ears.

He realised it was silence.

He clenched his hands and tried again. He needed to try again. His hands lit up, but nothing came.

Ben'd be pissed if he was off doing something important and Klaus summoned him for no other purpose than _you weren't there, and I was afraid something had happened_.

Diego and Allison were already standing.

Klaus tried again, paying their conversation no heed.

The tether that was always linked to Ben—one he hadn't even realised had existed until now—was gone. Angry, Klaus brought more power forward, groping for… something. Anything.

"Klaus, what are you—"

Klaus shh'd Diego.

His hands were shaking now, and although his nails were short, they were cutting into his palms.

"Where is he?" Klaus demanded, staring with wide eyes up at a shaken Vanya.

"I…"

It all got a bit foggy after that.

Diego and Allison helped him to his feet. He didn't remember getting back to… the place. The place with the weird guy and the nitrous oxide which Klaus had eyed more than once.

It had all smelled a bit strange, but then again, most of the 60's had that smell about it. He'd thought it was just old stuff, but everything was still new and everything still smelled weird.

He wasn't sure how much time had passed. Had it already been dark when they got back here?

A part of him wanted to get up, get a drink, but as soon as he considered moving, a new wave of exhaustion hit him.

This was stupid.

He…

He didn't even have it in him to berate himself.

"You okay?"

Klaus didn't look up. His arm had started to fall asleep.

He didn't move.

It had never been so quiet.

He could hear the world outside, but it was strange. Fuzzy.

He never thought he'd see the day that he'd be wishing for the ghosts to scream at him.

Anything was better than this.

He'd forgotten Diego was at the door until he felt the mattress behind him sink. Diego spooned up behind him as easily as breathing, as if they'd done this hundreds of times before.

They _had_ done this hundreds of times before.

In the past.

Or really, in the future.

It had been so long since he'd felt this.

It should have been a balm, but it didn't really soothe the hurt at all. If anything, it felt like the ache morphed, became a gaping wound, one that got rawer with each passing second.

Klaus exhaled slowly, his breath shuddering.

They lay in silence. The shadows in the room grew longer.

"He talk—"

"Don't." Klaus' voice was harsher than he'd meant it to be.

He felt Diego sigh, but he obeyed. He didn't say anything else.

Klaus bit his tongue in the hopes it'd stop his lower lip from trembling.

Diego's hand moved to his hair, stroking it very softly. Klaus closed his eyes against the stinging in them.

On a whim, he rolled over so he was facing Diego. It sent tingling through his arm as blood started to rush back to it.

When he opened his eyes, misery filled every line in Diego's face. He was looking at Klaus with something that might have been grief, and concern, and that little feeling that Klaus had always known about but never really been sure what to _do_ about.

Klaus wasn't very good at keeping people in his life.

He always fucked up somehow.

He pushed them away because he didn’t really want anyone there.

He'd always walked away before anything more serious happened.

The only person who had ever stuck around was, well… And that was only because he’d been forced to be.

Klaus closed his eyes and gritted his teeth. He counted his breath in, and then out.

"Sorry about Kennedy," Klaus said when he felt a little more stable.

Diego shook his head.

He probably wanted to talk about it as much as Klaus wanted to talk about…

Klaus didn't want to think.

He wanted to hurt.

He didn't want to feel.

He wanted to _hurt_.

He wanted to feel nothing at all.

Diego had always been good at helping with that.

Klaus leant forward and kissed him gently. Diego kissed back just as softly before withdrawing. His forehead touched Klaus'.

Klaus chased after him.

"No," Diego said, pushing him back, not too far, but just far enough. "We shouldn't."

"Why not?" Klaus' voice cracked.

"You… You just lost someone. You're not in the right frame of mind."

"I've been inebriated more than half the times we've fucked," Klaus pointed out with a sneer. "Wasn't in the right frame of mind then either."

Diego blanched and had the gall to look ashamed.

"I know. I shouldn't have done it those times." He shook his head. "I should never have let you…"

Klaus thought back on those memories, the way he'd begged Diego for more, how badly he wanted him. If Diego had said no, Klaus would have been some vicious combination of devastated and furious.

"I'm glad you did," Klaus said, leaning in to kiss him again. Diego accepted it for a moment before pushing him those two inches too far.

"Klaus, no, stop," Diego said more firmly.

Klaus knew his gaze was venomous.

"Why not? I need it. I need to—to—. I don't want to feel anymore. Make me not feel." His words started angry but by the end, he sounded dangerously close to pleading. To begging.

Diego just shook his head, and pulled Klaus in closer to him.

Klaus wanted to shove him away, but any semblance of energy he'd had dissipated as Diego tightened his arms.

"Klaus? You okay?" Allison's voice was sweet and hesitant.

Klaus didn't say anything. He didn't have the energy. He just lay there, held by Diego. Maybe if he stopped thinking, if he didn't talk, if he never moved again, he'd cease to exist and the aching numbness inside would go with it.

"You didn't even get anything to drink. That's how we knew it was bad." Allison's tone tried to be light but it cracked a little at the end.

Klaus wasn't sure what he'd say, even if he wanted to.

"We're sorry about Ben," Allison said. Before Klaus could ask how she knew, she cut in. "Vanya told us what happened."

"Oh," Klaus said softly. He wasn't sure she'd be able to hear him with his face buried against Diego like this.

The bed shifted behind him and a moment later, he felt Allison's hand on his side.

Someone was removing his boots. Klaus glanced down.

Five. Five shrugged when Klaus' eyes met his. When his boots were gone, Five sat on the end of the bed near his feet. Five didn't touch him, but Klaus could feel his presence anyway.

The smell of Allison's perfume was delicate and soothing. He hadn't known he'd needed it. She pressed against Klaus' back in the same way that Diego had however long ago. Her body was softer than his.

The bed groaned as Luther climbed on beside her. His big hand came to rest on Klaus' waist, just below Allison's arm.

Vanya sat beside Five, and patted Klaus' ankle awkwardly. Klaus didn't need to see her face to know how uncomfortable she was right then.

"Was he actually there?" Luther asked.

Klaus knew why he was asking. The number of times Klaus had lied about it through the years…

He closed his eyes, not wanting to think about it.

Diego nodded. "Uh. Yeah. He was. I… I talked to him."

Luther made a surprised sound. There was a sound like Luther about to start talking again, but Klaus felt Diego shake his head.

No further questions came.

It was warm, trapped between Diego and Allison like this. Luther's thumb was stroking his side.

Klaus only now remembered how repulsed he'd become by touch. He'd never thought he'd come to hate it, but he had.

This was different.

This was okay.

This wasn't endless strangers, touching him as if he were something special. This was his family, the family that knew him, that had seen him at his worst, but apparently still loved him anyway.

"C'mon, Five, stop being such an asshole," Diego said gruffly. "Get over here."

Five sighed heavily.

"You too, Vanya," Allison said, laughing a little.

"I don't think I—"

"Oh, c'mon, Vanny," Klaus said, surprising himself. His voice was rougher than he'd expected.

Allison shifted out from behind him and a moment later, Klaus felt her tiny frame slot in between him and Allison.

"All of us aren't going to fit," Five pointed out tartly.

"Sounds like a you problem, pal," Diego said, but shifted over so he was more closely pressed to Klaus. Klaus hadn't thought it was possible.

Klaus finally moved his arms from where they'd been curled against his chest to wrap around Diego. It brought them so close together that he thought that maybe, if he concentrated hard enough, he'd feel Diego's heartbeat, some reassurance that he was still there, that he was still alive, and that he couldn't leave.

Not yet, anyway.

Klaus was, for the first time in seventeen years, entirely alone.

Well, feeling the six of them crammed on that bed, holding onto each other, maybe he wasn't completely alone.

Maybe, for the first time in thirty-something years, he wasn't alone.

Maybe, if they held on a little longer, it'd wouldn't be the Klaus-and-Ben-show-now-minus-one-Ben, but rather would be… Whatever they were.

Some weird disaster that might resemble a family.

If he hoped hard enough, maybe it would be okay.

He felt Diego press a kiss to the top of his head, Vanya tuck her face into the back of his neck discreetly trying not to choke on his face. Allison ran her thumb back and forth over his arm. Luther’s hand at his waist was steadying. Five awkwardly patted his calf.

And Klaus let his eyes close, and listened to the sound of each person’s breath.

It was no longer silent.


End file.
